I haven't slept in six nights. By that I don't mean that I've only had eight hours when I'd really like ten, or that the baby still wakes a time or two to nurse during the night, I really mean I haven't slept in six nights. With four kids all in different stages of a croupy cough, sleep is non-existent around here these days (and nights). I don't know WHY sickness always has to be worse at night, but it is. And even with a champion of a husband who is not afraid to curl up on the edge of a twin bed with a feverish, barking, bed-hogging little one or walk a snotty, stuffy baby up and down the halls, there is only one of him and three more sick little ones who are awake and in need of comfort all through the night (and never at the same time, of course). We're really tired. My house is a wreck. The bathrooms are gross. I haven't showered since Monday (it's Thursday), and I have company coming to stay for the weekend tomorrow afternoon.
I am a person who needs sleep. As in, I get physically ill when I am deprived for too long. I am also a neat-freak who can't relax unless everything is at least tidy (though clean would be best); bathrooms being especially important to me. And I am not one of those people whose hair still looks great three days after being washed. Add to all of that the fact that I enjoy being prepared for guests by having meals planned and towels clean and folded.... um, yeah. The good news is that I'm not complaining. It's always encouraging when I can see actual proof that God is, in fact, sanctifying me (usually it is so slow a process that I'm left to wonder if it's actually even happening), and this is one of those times.
I always hear moms with many children talk about how much easier it is the more you have and it has never actually made sense to me. I mean, how is that possible? But I think I'm starting to see. With each child I am being forced to "die" a little bit more to myself and "live" a little bit more for them. Things that would make me crazy with frustration before are becoming just part of life as a mom to me now. The work itself isn't "easier" with more children, it's the heart that the Lord works in you through those children that makes it all seem a little bit easier.
I'm far from "there" in this regard (the part about dying to myself and living for my family), and there have still been many times in the past six nights that I beg (out loud) for just thirty consecutive minutes of sleep, but my perspective is broadening. The days are not as long as I once thought they were and they are far more valuable than I once thought they were. Those are things that it has taken me four children to learn.
But I think I've learned all that I can from this particular sickness so we can all go ahead and get better now. As in, right now. As in, I'll get to sleep for eight (or ten?) hours tonight, now....With #4 to get sick currently on "the worst day" and #1 to get sick finally able to suck his thumb and breathe at the same time, hopefully soon.
I am a person who needs sleep. As in, I get physically ill when I am deprived for too long. I am also a neat-freak who can't relax unless everything is at least tidy (though clean would be best); bathrooms being especially important to me. And I am not one of those people whose hair still looks great three days after being washed. Add to all of that the fact that I enjoy being prepared for guests by having meals planned and towels clean and folded.... um, yeah. The good news is that I'm not complaining. It's always encouraging when I can see actual proof that God is, in fact, sanctifying me (usually it is so slow a process that I'm left to wonder if it's actually even happening), and this is one of those times.
I always hear moms with many children talk about how much easier it is the more you have and it has never actually made sense to me. I mean, how is that possible? But I think I'm starting to see. With each child I am being forced to "die" a little bit more to myself and "live" a little bit more for them. Things that would make me crazy with frustration before are becoming just part of life as a mom to me now. The work itself isn't "easier" with more children, it's the heart that the Lord works in you through those children that makes it all seem a little bit easier.
I'm far from "there" in this regard (the part about dying to myself and living for my family), and there have still been many times in the past six nights that I beg (out loud) for just thirty consecutive minutes of sleep, but my perspective is broadening. The days are not as long as I once thought they were and they are far more valuable than I once thought they were. Those are things that it has taken me four children to learn.
But I think I've learned all that I can from this particular sickness so we can all go ahead and get better now. As in, right now. As in, I'll get to sleep for eight (or ten?) hours tonight, now....With #4 to get sick currently on "the worst day" and #1 to get sick finally able to suck his thumb and breathe at the same time, hopefully soon.