All is grace. God is sovereign. I don't have as much control over the situations in life as I think I want. My babies are not my own. Life can go from "normal" to "not normal" in the blink of an eye. Accidents really do happen and there really can be no way that we could have prevented them. Those accidents are allowed by a good and loving God. I can be terrified and calm at the same time. We have really great neighbors and family. I'm really grateful that I'm not in control over the situations in life. Some displays of grace are easier to accept than others, but all is grace.
These are a few of the lessons we were called to review in a span of about an hour tonight after Jack got hit and plowed over by Sam and his bike. It was about 5:45 and all of the neighborhood kids were outside riding bikes, while a few moms and I stood on the side of our street watching them and talking. Jack had been standing near me watching the kids ride by. I saw Sam riding towards us at a pretty good clip. He was riding into the sun and I saw him lean his face down to wipe his eyes. At that exact second and for some reason that I will never understand outside of God's providence, Jack started running from the side of the road towards Sam. I saw it all in slow motion and knew exactly what was about to happen but it was all just too fast. Sam looked up at the exact moment of impact and screamed Jack's name. It was brutal. I was later told that I screamed but I don't remember that. I do remember putting Eli down in the grass to run to Jack. He was crying pretty hard and I was really relieved to hear that. I picked him up and brought him into the yard and sat down with him. There was blood and it was coming from a lot of places. My neighbor had immediately picked Eli up and was holding him while she helped me look over Jack. Another neighbor was gathering medicine and ice. When I took the ice pack and put it on the worst of his wounds that I had seen, that neighbor gently and calmly put her hand on my arm and said that she had actually brought the ice for a different wound and that's when I found the worst one on the other side of his head. He was beat up on all sides. Travis called Jimmy who said he had just left and was about 35 minutes away. I instinctively knew that he needed to be seen, but the calm reassurance of my neighbor who had seen the accident along with me that she would take him if he were her child was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment. I also knew that with a potential head injury I needed to not wait until Jimmy got there to get him to the ER. Cathy insisted that I leave all five of the other kids with her, Travis got my bag and brought it to me, and we were off.
He had stopped crying by this time but he was very quiet and acting drowsy. I talked to him the whole way there and held his hand. He would answer me with little sounds and said that he wanted to go to sleep. Its never felt so long to drive so few miles! Aside from a bit of a hold up with the check-in process, the staff at our little Hospital System campus was awesome. They brought him back immediately (ahead of several other waiting patients, which was both awesome and scary at the same time) and the nurse took all of our information and looked him over pretty well. He was slowly starting to perk up a bit, but I was most hopeful once he said, "I do it!" in regard to putting the cap on our water bottle all by himself. That's our boy! : )
The doctor came in shortly after the nurse and after checking all of his vitals and giving him a good once-over (checking eyes, ears, feeling his skull, checking all of his joints, listening to his heart and lungs...etc), said he really thought everything was ok. He had never lost consciousness or thrown up, which was very good. He wanted to do a CAT scan to be sure that there was no internal damage, which was pretty much why we were there in the first place. Jimmy arrived just after the doctor left to order the CAT scan. The radiology tech came in right away to get the scan done, saying that only one parent could come in with him. I was sure that he would freak out having to lie perfectly still on a bed that was going to move him through a tube shooting red laser lights at him so I quickly stepped right on out of the room and gave Jimmy the privilege. I was not in any condition to be forcing my wounded baby to do something scary. My skills were much better used out in the hall pacing and praying. : ) And sweet little man was perfect! Didn't make a sound or move a muscle and they got it finished in less than two minutes.
After the scan was the first time I'd had a chance to call anyone and I called Jenny-Lynn so that she could tell mom in person what had happened and that everything was ok. Of course, they offered to come right over, but the doctor had said that he would more than likely be sending us home upon reading the scan results and within just a couple of minutes he brought us the wonderful news that there was absolutely nothing abnormal whatsoever. No swelling, no bleeding, no fractures, no concussion. The nurse gave him a grape juice box and said we were free to go!
We stopped by Ron and Jenny-Lynn's house on the way home so that he could show off his war wounds, get some love from Maw Maw, and be spoiled with a big bowl of ice cream. (truth be told, that stop was more for Maw Maw than it was for Jack. I knew she would need to see that he was ok with her own eyes!). Maw Maw gave him a dollar for being brave and, after discovering that his shorts were without pockets, he tucked it into his black rubber rain boots.
He was treated like a hero upon his arrival home and I think his heartiest and most precious greeting came from a very relieved Sam. We all thanked God together for his sovereignty in our lives, even when it comes to things that are hard and scary, and for his mercy in allowing this to be a situation where it is very easy to acknowledge and accept the grace. He slept in our bed snuggled between us and any time he would roll onto either side of his head (where he sports matching wounds) he would cry out in pain. I also know that he dreamed about it several times because he would throw his arms out in front of him and cry out, "No! Stop!" Heartbreaking.
He's got road-rash all over his face, on his arms, his hip and one leg and a pretty good cut on the right side of his head buried beneath his hair. But he's fine. Completely fine. And it could have been so much worse. And we are nothing but grateful. Grateful that he is ok, of course, but also grateful for a kind and gentle reminder of the fragility of this life. Grateful for the reminder that all is grace and all is for our good, whether it turns out easy or hard.
Grateful joy...
