My collection of babies

My "ducklings" and I are often the recipients of a myriad of comments from (usually) well-meaning individuals whenever we're out in public. Most of the time people are just surprised to see a young-looking mom with so many children so by far the most common question is, "All they all yours?" Most of the time the question is accompanied by a look of pity and almost always followed up with some variation of, "Better you than me!" It makes me sad for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that these people obviously seem to find nothing wrong with making these types of comments in front of my children. My response is very important - those little ears are always (and I do mean always) listening. I need to model kindness toward others for them while "defending" them at the same time. I tend to keep it simple (I am out in public with four children 7 and under after all; there's not much time for small talk!), saying something about how much we enjoy them and then continuing along. I'm not sure that the commenter would ever imagine that I honestly do not need or want their sympathy, nor would they guess that I'm walking away from the encounter feeling sorry for them! But I do...

Our society values "Me Time" over anything and everything. We deserve it, after all! We work hard and the more kids we have the less time there is for all the things that keep us "true" to ourselves. The more kids we have, the less time we have to devote to the things that are important to us, to the things that really matter, to the things that make us who we are. The more kids we have, the more likely we are to lose that person we were before they came along. The more kids we have, the more haggard and worn out we'll look; no time for staying in the latest fashions when you've got all those kids! Right? Right?!

This is what our society tells us and it's everywhere. It's in every parenting magazine, it's in the chat rooms and on the message boards and, sadly, it's even on the lips of Christian moms who genuinely do love their children and are grateful to have them. It is the attitude that is seen as "normal". Why would anyone want to have more than two children? Especially if they've got their "boy and girl"?

Here is a sweet, fragrant mouth to kiss, here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God, and the body in which it dwells is worthy of all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly tenant. I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom, while I minister in Christ's name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other darlings had left me.
Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to your mother's heart, Welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her most tender cares, to her lifelong prayers!
Oh, how rich I am, how truly, how wondrously blest!

Stepping Heavenward, Elisabeth Prentiss

I may not have the time to keep up with every hobby that I have (there are a lot!) and I may take my fashion cues from the occasional stroll through Target, but what are these things in light of eternity? These days fly by all too quickly and we mothers who are in the trenches right now will one day have more "free time" than we can even imagine. Let's not waste the precious time that we have to love and shape and mold these little souls by always looking for our "escape". They are so worthy of our most tender cares...

A Mother's Love

If I speak truths from God’s Word and train my children in the Lord, but have not God’s love flowing from me to them, the words I teach are as noisy as a barking dog, a broken muffler, or a colicky baby at 2 a.m.

And if I have all manner of wisdom and knowledge in the latest child-rearing techniques, if I have an understanding of child psychology, and if I have subscriptions to every parenting magazine on the market but don’t have God’s love flowing from me, I am nothing.

If I have all the faith I could ever need, so that I could move mountains, keep the house clean, or potty-train a two year old, but do not do it in love, I am nothing.

Even if I leave behind my own dreams and ambitions to raise my children, and even if I stay up for nights on end with sick children, sleepless babies, and mountains of laundry, but complain and murmur about lack of sleep, God’s love is not in me, and I am accomplishing nothing.

A loving mother is patient enough to wait for a child who insists on tying her own shoes and buttoning her own coat.

A loving mother is kind to her children even on three hours of sleep and is never rude to them.

A loving mother is not jealous or envious of everyone else’s children nor will she boastfully exalt her own children above others.

A loving mother models true Christian behavior even when no other adults are watching.

A mother full of God’s love doesn’t seek her own rights, but demonstrates the servant hood of Christ as she serves her family.

Such a mother doesn’t resent cutting corners to live on one income, but is grateful to raise her own children.

A loving mother forgets her children’s sins as soon as the discipline is over, and never reminds them of their imperfections but encourages her children in good works.

A loving mother doesn’t look at her children’s rebelliousness as a cute phase but rejoices in seeing her offspring grow in godliness.

Only a mother with God’s love can bear the day to day tasks of managing a family with zest and joy. She is able to see the potential hidden deep within each of her children and prays that God will shine through them into a dark world. With such a vision clear in her mind, a mother can endure anything.

A loving mother’s influence will never fade away. Oh, the children may forget a spotlessly clean house, or perfectly pressed clothes, or even freshly baked cookies, but her children will always carry with them the legacy of God’s perfect love.

Though all you may see now are stacks of dirty dishes, diapers to change, noses to wipe, and wild toddlers to tame, the spirit in which you tackle these tasks is laying the foundation for your children that has eternal consequences.

There are three things your children will always remember about you:

Your faith and zeal in how you serve the Lord.
Your hope in the promises of God’s word and how you waited and watched for His return.
And the Love of God that flowed through you to others.

It is these three that will remain in their minds forever, and the greatest of these is their mother’s love.

Copyright 2000, Kimberly Eddy, www.joyfulmomma.org. Permission granted to reprint this article for non-commercial purposes so long as this line and link are included.

Our Best Sweet Daddy

A Father's Day Tribute

Thanks for always being ready to to have fun. No matter what your day was like, you come home ready to BE with us. We anxiously await your return because we are ready for the willing excitement that you breathe into our often tired and grumpy late afternoon. Our kids know that you're just a big kid yourself by the joy and delight that you take in playing with them. They know that you will protect and guard them when you are gentle and sweet, whether it's in caring for a battle wound or welcoming them into our bed after a scary dream. They know that you care deeply for them by the time that is carved out specifically for teaching them the truths of God and His word. These times are what has sealed their love for you and it's what keeps their hearts connected to their daddy.

It's exciting to watch your relationship with Travis grow and and change and deepen every day. I'm grateful for the desire that you have to develop this friendship with him that goes beyond Daddy and little boy. I see him take such pride in taking care of manly jobs, in being a gentleman and I know that those things are being developed in him because he respects the man that you are and he wants to emulate that man. I would be so incredibly glad if he would grow to be a man like his daddy.

I love that you know Sam so well that you recognize how much he's caught between little boy and big boy and you're willing to let him be whichever he is needing to be at any given moment. You're always more than willing to scoop him up and snuggle him when he needs extra reassurance and ready to switch gears at a seconds notice when he decides the moment calls for a fierce wrestling match. He adores you.

Caroline is a blessed little girl to have a daddy who dotes on her as you do. You are smitten with her and her heart belongs completely and fully to her sweet daddy (as she calls you). She watches your every move and is learning every day what a husband and father should be. I am confident that she will never settle for less than the example you are setting before her and I look forward to the happy home that will be built because of the standards you've set in her mind.

The first time I saw you as "daddy" with our very first sweet baby it completely melted my heart. Suddenly there was a whole new aspect of you to learn about and to fall in love with. And now that continues when I watch you with Benjamin. He's always been so content with you and so happy to hear your voice and see you when you come into the room. He's been the quickest to get in on the action, always with a big ROAR to add to the commotion. He knows you're not going to leave him out. Thank you for being so completely willing and able to do the "baby thing" with all of our babies; you are so good at it.

But that's not all. Beyond all the time that you spend specifically nurturing your relationship with our kids, the very best gift that you give to them is a home where their daddy rules with kindness and wisdom and benevolence. A home where their daddy loves their mommy, not just in word but more often in deed. The way that you love me and care for me and provide for me speaks more to them than anything else you'll ever set out to teach. I couldn't be more thankful to be your wife and the mother of your children.

Happy Father's Day to our Best Sweet Daddy.

projects

After a bit of re-shuffling of the schedule and a concerted effort within the Kyker home to work on the dropping of some bad habits and the developing of some better ones (hopefully there will be more on that in a later post), I've found myself with a bit more "free" time than I have enjoyed in the recent past. I've started running again (slowly, but surely) and I've dusted off the old sewing machine for a few little projects. Here's what I made yesterday using this tutorial:


It was so easy and the perfect project when you just want to see an actual completed accomplishment once in a while. I've also been making these, which are great for playing outside and getting nice and dirty in (though Sam, my comfort boy, likes to sleep in his). The kids love them and it's a great way to weed through all of those t-shirts we seem to collect. I think I might go whip up a few more while the Sunday afternoon quiet still reigns...

Socialization

My Granny

There is no way I could do my Granny any justice in just a short blog post, but I've been thinking about her today and wanted to jot down a few thoughts about her. Simply put, my Granny is precious and I grow to appreciate her and love her more and more the older I get and the more I realize how rare women like her are. I'm sure she has her faults and I'm sure there are "thorns" that she sees in herself that she will be glad to leave behind, but her children and grandchildren and even great-grands (as she calls them) just see a woman who loves her Lord and who diligently, joyfully and sweetly wants to serve Him with all of her life.

This past year I've watched her grieve the loss of her husband of 65 years, my Pappy. And while she misses him greatly, she is learning to be content. I love that I can see my Granny growing closer to our Lord the older she gets. I love knowing that my Granny eagerly and diligently studies her Bible daily. I love knowing that she prays for my little family every day. I love that from this side of a very long, full, rich life she can say with earnest conviction that nothing matters more than loving and serving the Lord with joy and gratitude. I love the example of peace that she is to me and to the rest of my family.

I have my Granny's fair skin, her feet and her fingernails. And I hope that when I reach her age I have her precious heart.

One Thousand Gifts

a friend who "orders" me to drop my kids off at her house for at least two hours to go do whatever I want (12)

Spring. Leaves, flowers, big, green trees, breezes... (13)

toothless grins (14)

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer + rainy days + cozy blankets + snuggly boys (15)

baby sized hand-prints on the dishwasher door (16)

a husband who can't keep his gifts to me a secret (17)

red clay stained bathmats that mean serious outside fun has been had (18)

homemade doughnuts and popcorn for dinner (19)

babies that love green smoothies (20)

pizza night with friends (21)

Hour-long conversations with my sweet Granny (22)

Sunday naps (23)

One Thousand Gifts

Learning to notice the extra-ordinary in the every day, the simple, the mundane, the routine. Learning to notice and be glad. Learning to be glad and to be grateful. Learning to express that gratitude to the Giver of every good gift...

a little lady who loves to sit on the counter every morning and watch her daddy do his shaving and his "tomcacs" (1)

two sneaky boys who beat me to my room chores and make my bed, complete with properly placed pillows, and then wait, giggling, for me to find their act of love (2)

a bouquet of dandelions picked just for me (3)

vacuum lines on the carpet (4)

contented, cheerful faces (5)

homemade pizza (6)

homemade stick-swords (7)

lavender oil in my vinegar spray bottle and fresh-smelling bathrooms (8)

baby chuckles, heavy eyelids, sweet sighs at bedtime (9)

several bins of well-organized baby and kid clothes ~ enough to pass along to others (10)

clean sheets and warm snuggles after a day of good, hard work (11)

more to come...

www.aholyexperience.com

Surprises

This is what my sweet husband came home with after volunteering to go get milk this past Sunday afternoon. Saturday I had commented on the lovely wild wisteria that is growing all over the place right now, so he decided to surprise me by bringing some home. An entire van full. Along with my very favorite, tulips. I've always loved how pretty wisteria is but I never knew how wonderful it smells until now after having it sit on my counter for three days. It's amazing what pretty flowers do to brighten up a room and even more amazing what a simple act of love does for the soul. I'm the "luckiest" lady in the world.

SEVEN years old!

My big, sweet, wonderful Travis, you are SEVEN! The old saying "time flies when you're having fun" has never meant more to me then it does now when I look at what a big boy you've become. All of my "firsts" as a Mommy have been experienced with you, and I think I've learned more from you in this past year then perhaps all the others thus far. This has been a year of big changes for you and it's so exciting to see glimpses of the man you'll be one day.

I think if I tried to begin listing all the things you've discovered, accomplished and learned in this past year this would be a very long birthday letter. I'm not sure if the jump from six to seven is typically so full of change as yours has been, but you are clearly making the transition from little boy to young man. And I've got to tell you, it's a little bittersweet for your mama! Mostly sweet, of course, but when your daddy and I remember one of the precious things you did as a toddler I get all nostalgic for that sweet little guy that you were. Even just this morning as we were all watching the cardinal out the back windows I remembered how your two-year old self used to stand at our back door in Tallahassee and call out for the cardinal, "Red bird, red bird, where AH-wa!" As we always do when I tell you stories from your babyhood, we laughed at the memory (but you didn't notice my eyes filling with tears!).

I think I first started seeing the change in you right around your sixth birthday. We were anxiously awaiting the arrival of baby #4 and you were so, so precious in the way that you took care of me, your tired mama. Every grocery trip would begin with you reminding me to get cereal and bread as those were the staples behind the two meals you could easily prepare for the others by yourself. And you did! On mornings when I was not feeling my best I would come down to find the three of you already sitting at the bar with cereal and milk eating your breakfast. You melted my heart with all the ways that you insisted on taking care of me both before and after Benjamin's arrival. It has also been precious to watch you with our baby now that you are old enough to begin to realize how sweet and wonderful and precious they are. When Caroline was born you were still just a baby yourself, and though you loved her, of course, you were not able to enjoy her as you have enjoyed Benjamin. Daddy and I have truly loved watching you love him. You told me recently that you want to be the oldest of 12 and, while I'm not quite sure that I can make that wish come true for you, I do so love the fact that you see all of your siblings and any future babies as sweet blessings.

You have also completely exploded in your reading. While you've been able to read for a while now, you've never enjoyed it as you began to this year. You are absolutely flying through books-wonderful, classic books-and loving every minute of it. We've read some great books together and I love the inside jokes that we've taken away from those stories. It's such fun to share those "friends" with you. I also love talking about the books that you're reading and listening to you explain the stories to me. You first set of books that you read alone (which we had already read together last year) was the Little House on the Prairie series. I won't even attempt to list all the you've read since then. Lets just say you're keeping me on my toes when it comes to keeping you stocked with good books to read. You love adventure and devoured your Davy Crockett biography. But your love for literature hasn't stopped with just reading books. Oh, no. You also began writing books this year, as well! Your first was a trilogy; a story about a dragon named Sirus and his family. That led to learning about book publishing, which led to us buying a book-binding kit, which led to a set of leather bound books written by you. They are a treasure to your daddy and me. You've written a few other books since then (birthday gifts for Maw Maw and Sam), using the computer on your own.

Some other notable events have included riding your bike without training wheels, shoes that "tie", starting Little League baseball (Go, Tigers!), sending emails (I love the surprises in my inbox!), hiking through various acreage with daddy trying to find "the one" for us to live on, and generally just being a fun kid to have around. I am so thankful for the friendship between you and Sam and for your fierce (though sometimes a little too fierce!) protectiveness of Caroline. You are such a great big brother.

Travis, you are so much fun to have around - I simply can't imagine sending you off to school each day and not knowing you as well as I do. And even though daddy isn't here all day, I think he knows you better than he would if you were gone at school trough all of the tales we have to tell him every night. Our home would be so dull without you here all day and Sam would surely miss the adventures the two of you have outside! It would be such a shame for him to have to choose between pirates, Davey Crockett, cowboys, Marines, Indians, and then try to play without you!

I think the most challenging thing for me in this year is that we've had to begin to make the transition from training a little child to teaching and directing a young man. We started noticing your desire to spread your wings a bit and it's been tough for me to remember that it's a good thing for you to do. As much as you are growing and changing, daddy and I have to as well! We've never parented a "big kid" before and are learning what that looks like right along side of you. We want to honor you and respect that young man that you are growing into, while keeping in mind that you still need so much guidance and direction. You are so receptive and eager to please when you feel like we're remembering your desire to be "big". It's a tough balance for daddy and me to find - thank you for your patience!

Travis, we really are so excited to be entering into a different stage with you. Seeing a glimpse into the young man that you're becoming makes daddy and me look forward to the coming years and all of the new things that we will get to experience with you. Our prayers for you right now are that your heart will remain soft and teachable. That we would be mindful to be gentle with you in your weaknesses, always willing and able to sympathize. That we would be able to easily discern your strengths and encourage you towards your natural bents. That we would know how far to push and challenge you and when to back off. That you would continue to grow in wisdom and understanding and that your heart would continue to be shaped and softened by our Lord. We love you so very much, T-man. Happy seventh birthday, Davy Crockett!