Oh, you know, just another letter from Buckingham Palace...
School time
On Education
Here we are again, already preparing for another school year. How can it possibly be true that it will be our eighth official year of homeschooling and shouldn't I feel like an expert by now? In many ways I feel as though I'm actually only just beginning to figure out who we are and what we're doing and why we're doing it in the first place (which probably inspires tons of confidence in the grandparents). What started out as just an obvious (to us) idea way back when has turned into a philosophy, of sorts. A way of life. No longer obvious at all, but examined and explored and experimented. Our ideas have become more refined as we've tried various routes and styles after listening to one expert or another. We've veered off of pre-determined paths here and there when the allure of something new and shiny has come along and we've buckled down and gritted our teeth when we really should have ditched what wasn't working. As in most areas of life these days, this year has left me re-examining why we do what we do and whether or not it matters. While I certainly don't believe for a second that there is only one right choice, my pondering and praying and lots of talks with my wise husband has left me content in the knowledge that the choices that we've made are, indeed, the right ones for our family. This renewed sense of contentment makes me want to write out my thoughts so that our children can see our vision and understand the paths we've chosen as we work our way towards the goals we've set for our family.
And now for my disclaimer... Jimmy asked me to write this and even though I've wanted to for a long time I've always been hesitant because I know all too well how murky and treacherous these waters can be. I know how intentional and prayerful our friends and family are in the decisions they make with their own kids and I know (all too well) how easy it is to hear criticism where none is intended (not that I've ever done that). That is not what this is. I'm not writing this so any particular person will read it and (finally!) get his/her act together and make better choices. I'm not writing from a platform or a soapbox. I'm writing because in all areas of our relationships with our kids we want them to understand why we've made the choices that we have and how we came to them. We want them to know that we've been intentional and purposeful and that we're looking ahead at where we want to end up and then carving out a path that we believe will take us there. Together.
So now, why have we chosen to keep our kids at home instead of sending them to school? I never know which answer people are looking for when they ask me this question and there are tons of small reasons that seem safe enough to give as an answer to those who might just be asking to be polite. One reason is that we like being with our kids and a few hours in the evenings (which would get crowded pretty quickly by homework and dinner and basketball practice...) didn't seem like enough time. Jimmy and I are also both pretty interested in education and the ability to research and choose very specific curriculum for each of our kids was pretty appealing. There are so many wonderful things in this world to learn and study and we want to be sure they are exposed to those things and given the time and freedom to explore them. Books are also really important to us and we love the idea of being able to steer them in the direction of really great ones. The conversations that have stemmed from the books we've read together have been among my favorites. We also value the freedom that we have when we're not bound to an external schedule. Beyond the educational value of being free to linger on a subject that continues to hold our attention or might be a bit of a struggle to get through (or move on from a topic that has been well understood) the ability to plan our family time according to our own preferences and needs rather than according to a pre-determined schedule is pretty nice. We also appreciate the ability that we have to teach our kids through the filter of our own world-view. This doesn't mean that we shelter them from the harsh realities of the world, but rather that we allow them to learn of those realities in light of Who God is and what He's doing.
Our reasons for keeping our kids at home for their education stem from the many benefits that we see coming from this choice. We are not afraid of public schools "indoctrinating" our children (they are still ours and our example weighs far more in their hearts and minds than any other). We aren't afraid of "bad" kids corrupting our little saints (any and all corruption they could ever conceive of is already there in their own hearts). We don't presume to be smarter or more equipped than the many wonderful teachers who serve graciously and diligently in our local schools (many are dear friends and I'd be delighted for any of them to teach my children). And I was surprised a few years ago when a friend suggested that our choice to keep our kids at home isolated us from our neighbors and wasn't "kingdom minded". It was especially interesting since our kingdom-mindedness is one of the biggest reasons we actually do homeschool.
And that's where our several-years-in-the-making educational philosophy comes in. We have a heart to pour into these years that we have with our kids. Every time our oldest has another birthday (and I secretly count down the years we have left with him) I am reminded of the breath-taking reality that these years will be gone in a flash. We believe that life is so much bigger than it can be made to look when the majority of their view comes from behind a desk in a classroom. Academics are so important and through them we can better know Who God is and the wonders of what He's made and all the works that we can do to glorify Him, but reading, writing and arithmetic are not all there is to study. We want our kids to have time to explore the gifts that God has given specifically to them. We want them to have time to be alone with their thoughts; to wrestle with ideas in their own heads for a while, and then we want to be here ready to listen and talk through those thoughts with them. We want them to wander through the woods and learn, from experience, about trees and weeds and birds and bugs. We want them to live a life that is free to drop everything in order to help our neighbor when we are needed. We want their days to include denying themselves access to their teacher on-demand for the good of the little brother who needs to be disciplined (again). We want their lives to be bigger than themselves and their own schedules. We welcome the realities of real life and want to see them not as interruptions to their education, but a very large part of it. We pray for the grace to endure those hard days when everyone is fighting and tempers are flaring and it would just be so much easier if they were all GONE for the day and had some time apart because it's in those days that we all get to be sharpened and strengthened and reminded of our need for Jesus. It's on those days where the rubber meets the road and we're given another opportunity to decide who we will serve. We assume that further education will be in the plans for our children down the road, but that's not our goal. Our goal is to send six critically thinking, well-read, culturally aware, nature-loving, Kingdom-minded servants out into the world and we really can't wait to see how God uses them.
And now for my disclaimer... Jimmy asked me to write this and even though I've wanted to for a long time I've always been hesitant because I know all too well how murky and treacherous these waters can be. I know how intentional and prayerful our friends and family are in the decisions they make with their own kids and I know (all too well) how easy it is to hear criticism where none is intended (not that I've ever done that). That is not what this is. I'm not writing this so any particular person will read it and (finally!) get his/her act together and make better choices. I'm not writing from a platform or a soapbox. I'm writing because in all areas of our relationships with our kids we want them to understand why we've made the choices that we have and how we came to them. We want them to know that we've been intentional and purposeful and that we're looking ahead at where we want to end up and then carving out a path that we believe will take us there. Together.
So now, why have we chosen to keep our kids at home instead of sending them to school? I never know which answer people are looking for when they ask me this question and there are tons of small reasons that seem safe enough to give as an answer to those who might just be asking to be polite. One reason is that we like being with our kids and a few hours in the evenings (which would get crowded pretty quickly by homework and dinner and basketball practice...) didn't seem like enough time. Jimmy and I are also both pretty interested in education and the ability to research and choose very specific curriculum for each of our kids was pretty appealing. There are so many wonderful things in this world to learn and study and we want to be sure they are exposed to those things and given the time and freedom to explore them. Books are also really important to us and we love the idea of being able to steer them in the direction of really great ones. The conversations that have stemmed from the books we've read together have been among my favorites. We also value the freedom that we have when we're not bound to an external schedule. Beyond the educational value of being free to linger on a subject that continues to hold our attention or might be a bit of a struggle to get through (or move on from a topic that has been well understood) the ability to plan our family time according to our own preferences and needs rather than according to a pre-determined schedule is pretty nice. We also appreciate the ability that we have to teach our kids through the filter of our own world-view. This doesn't mean that we shelter them from the harsh realities of the world, but rather that we allow them to learn of those realities in light of Who God is and what He's doing.
Our reasons for keeping our kids at home for their education stem from the many benefits that we see coming from this choice. We are not afraid of public schools "indoctrinating" our children (they are still ours and our example weighs far more in their hearts and minds than any other). We aren't afraid of "bad" kids corrupting our little saints (any and all corruption they could ever conceive of is already there in their own hearts). We don't presume to be smarter or more equipped than the many wonderful teachers who serve graciously and diligently in our local schools (many are dear friends and I'd be delighted for any of them to teach my children). And I was surprised a few years ago when a friend suggested that our choice to keep our kids at home isolated us from our neighbors and wasn't "kingdom minded". It was especially interesting since our kingdom-mindedness is one of the biggest reasons we actually do homeschool.
And that's where our several-years-in-the-making educational philosophy comes in. We have a heart to pour into these years that we have with our kids. Every time our oldest has another birthday (and I secretly count down the years we have left with him) I am reminded of the breath-taking reality that these years will be gone in a flash. We believe that life is so much bigger than it can be made to look when the majority of their view comes from behind a desk in a classroom. Academics are so important and through them we can better know Who God is and the wonders of what He's made and all the works that we can do to glorify Him, but reading, writing and arithmetic are not all there is to study. We want our kids to have time to explore the gifts that God has given specifically to them. We want them to have time to be alone with their thoughts; to wrestle with ideas in their own heads for a while, and then we want to be here ready to listen and talk through those thoughts with them. We want them to wander through the woods and learn, from experience, about trees and weeds and birds and bugs. We want them to live a life that is free to drop everything in order to help our neighbor when we are needed. We want their days to include denying themselves access to their teacher on-demand for the good of the little brother who needs to be disciplined (again). We want their lives to be bigger than themselves and their own schedules. We welcome the realities of real life and want to see them not as interruptions to their education, but a very large part of it. We pray for the grace to endure those hard days when everyone is fighting and tempers are flaring and it would just be so much easier if they were all GONE for the day and had some time apart because it's in those days that we all get to be sharpened and strengthened and reminded of our need for Jesus. It's on those days where the rubber meets the road and we're given another opportunity to decide who we will serve. We assume that further education will be in the plans for our children down the road, but that's not our goal. Our goal is to send six critically thinking, well-read, culturally aware, nature-loving, Kingdom-minded servants out into the world and we really can't wait to see how God uses them.
Boston Bound
Thanks to my very hard-working and brave mother-in-law and a few donated plane tickets, Jimmy and I set off for Boston to celebrate fifteen years of wedded bliss. We chose Boston because it was a big city neither of us had been to before, was far enough away to warrant a plane ticket but not so far that we'd spend too much of our precious time on a plane. We chose wisely. The weather was gorgeous enough to spend three full days walking running, sight-seeing and touring the city outside the whole time. Jimmy held his morning "boot camp", which actually turned out to be a pretty awesome way to see the sights. Our first run took us through Boston Common, along the harbor and up Beacon Hill and also earned us our first visit to a local coffee shop. We made a vow to each other that we wouldn't succumb to any of the Starbucks that covered every street corner and instead made it our mission to leave with a favorite local shop - Peet's in Cambridge was the winner! The only time we used any transportation other than our own two feet was when we took the train to Harvard. Jimmy was all pumped to run to Harvard, then run through Harvard, but I had to be the wet blanket on that party. I'll admit that Harvard wasn't as stately and beautiful as I had expected it to be and Cambridge won for most unhelpful and uppity locals, but it is home to Peets, so it will always hold a special place in my heart.
When we weren't running and drinking coffee, we were touristing it up walking along the Freedom Trail checking out old cemeteries (tearing up over the young couple who buried four babies in four years), admiring beautiful churches, imagining the passionate meetings that took place beneath our feet as the Great Revolt was planned and looking for ghosts who apparently wreak havoc in the old city.
We also had to pace ourselves and carefully plan our meals so as to be certain to squeeze in all of the necessary restaurant stops. We hit pretty much every genre of food, from our French dinner at La Voile (where the owner, literally, moved his entire restaurant - equipment, tables, chairs, staff! - from France and reopened in Boston), to our Italian dinner at Dolce Vita in Little Italy, where Uncle Franco stood out on the sidewalk to welcome his people as they arrived to eat the most ridiculously amazing pasta ever made. We had beers in the oldest tavern in America, pizza at Regina Pizzeria - the best in Boston - and cannolis at Mike's Pastry. We spent almost an hour with Rachel, an older woman who has run a little pharmacy with her husband for the last 40 years. She taught us how to use our favorite souvenir (our Italian coffee maker) and directed us to her friends (the Polcari family) down the road for some suitable espresso.
Except for the time I packed Jimmy's bag for him and grabbed the disinfectant contact solution instead of the saline solution and it tried to burn his eyeball off when he inserted his contact at 6am and, because he's really sweet and thoughtful and knew that it is no vacation if I am awakened before 8am, navigated his own way blindly (with a burned eyeball) through the crowded streets to find a drugstore and then pawed around on the floor of the store as he (blindly) searched for saline and then held up the entire checkout line as he (blindly) tried to make his purchase, it was the best vacation I could imagine.
Fifteen years, six babies, lots of life lived (fun life and not-so-fun life) and I like him more today than I did on that day when we promised "forever". And while we probably won't be married in Heaven, we will get to live through eternity together because of our love for Jesus and that's a pretty wonderful thought. That's our Happily Ever After.
Here's to a sweet fifteen years and the hope of many more to come!
When we weren't running and drinking coffee, we were touristing it up walking along the Freedom Trail checking out old cemeteries (tearing up over the young couple who buried four babies in four years), admiring beautiful churches, imagining the passionate meetings that took place beneath our feet as the Great Revolt was planned and looking for ghosts who apparently wreak havoc in the old city.
We also had to pace ourselves and carefully plan our meals so as to be certain to squeeze in all of the necessary restaurant stops. We hit pretty much every genre of food, from our French dinner at La Voile (where the owner, literally, moved his entire restaurant - equipment, tables, chairs, staff! - from France and reopened in Boston), to our Italian dinner at Dolce Vita in Little Italy, where Uncle Franco stood out on the sidewalk to welcome his people as they arrived to eat the most ridiculously amazing pasta ever made. We had beers in the oldest tavern in America, pizza at Regina Pizzeria - the best in Boston - and cannolis at Mike's Pastry. We spent almost an hour with Rachel, an older woman who has run a little pharmacy with her husband for the last 40 years. She taught us how to use our favorite souvenir (our Italian coffee maker) and directed us to her friends (the Polcari family) down the road for some suitable espresso.
Except for the time I packed Jimmy's bag for him and grabbed the disinfectant contact solution instead of the saline solution and it tried to burn his eyeball off when he inserted his contact at 6am and, because he's really sweet and thoughtful and knew that it is no vacation if I am awakened before 8am, navigated his own way blindly (with a burned eyeball) through the crowded streets to find a drugstore and then pawed around on the floor of the store as he (blindly) searched for saline and then held up the entire checkout line as he (blindly) tried to make his purchase, it was the best vacation I could imagine.
Fifteen years, six babies, lots of life lived (fun life and not-so-fun life) and I like him more today than I did on that day when we promised "forever". And while we probably won't be married in Heaven, we will get to live through eternity together because of our love for Jesus and that's a pretty wonderful thought. That's our Happily Ever After.
Here's to a sweet fifteen years and the hope of many more to come!
Summer highlights!
Beach Boys
How we spent our summer vacation
I have Jenny-Lynn to thank for giving me the inspiration and courage to fill my trusty Suburban with little people (and a puppy) and hit the road. I figured if she could fill Vandalf the Grey with her four little ladies and drive half-way across the country, then Night Fury and I could do it too.
I was anxious to get back to Lisa's and get my eyes on her (and fill her up with good food), but I was also kind of weary of leaving my people behind. Add to that GaGa and Grandpa's love of having some kids to spoil for a little while at their own house and we were Florida bound!
Thanks to some awesome kids who travel well, a puppy who travels amazingly well and a few Starbucks stops, we made it in excellent time. Travis, Sam and Ben stayed at GaGa and Grandpa's for the week while Caroline, Jack and Eli went on to Palm Bay to nurse Aunt La back to health. Jimmy joined us later in the week where were able to celebrate July 4th together, spend a couple of days with the Kyker clan and then enjoy the Starbuck's filled ride home together.
I was anxious to get back to Lisa's and get my eyes on her (and fill her up with good food), but I was also kind of weary of leaving my people behind. Add to that GaGa and Grandpa's love of having some kids to spoil for a little while at their own house and we were Florida bound!
Thanks to some awesome kids who travel well, a puppy who travels amazingly well and a few Starbucks stops, we made it in excellent time. Travis, Sam and Ben stayed at GaGa and Grandpa's for the week while Caroline, Jack and Eli went on to Palm Bay to nurse Aunt La back to health. Jimmy joined us later in the week where were able to celebrate July 4th together, spend a couple of days with the Kyker clan and then enjoy the Starbuck's filled ride home together.
Spring babies
Every other winter/spring since 2001 has found our family welcoming a new addition. This year, with no human babies on the horizon, would be our first spring to break that tradition. Since old habits die hard, we decided to welcome not one, not even two, but three new babies to the family!
First to come aboard were Anne Shirley and Diana Berry. We knew already that the little grey sweetie was the more adventurous of the two, so she became Ann(e) and, naturally, got the red collar. The little tabby was sweet and mild and had "raven" stripes, so the name Diana and the pink, ladylike collar were an obvious match. Jimmy has never been a cat lover. You might even safely have considered him a cat hater. But it's a wonder what a daughter's delight and some affectionate kittens can do to even the hardest of hearts. The fact that they loved him from day one (and came at the sound of his voice as he called, "Ladies!") might have helped a little bit. In fact, it helped so much that when Jimmy awoke very early the morning after they arrived and found that it was raining, he opened the back door, scooped up two soggy little kittens, brought them inside and dried them with a towel! He put their blanket in the drier and their crate that Caroline had purchased for them in the garage and relocated them to a warmer, drier home than the back deck had been. You might say that he was smitten with the kittens.
Caroline loves her ladies and they have already become a fun part of our family. They show up in random and unexpected places, love to dart inside whenever the doors get left open (which is often), and are incredibly patient with all of the love and attention they receive.
Just over a week later, after months of hard work, money saving and Greenville Humane Society website stalking, the puppy (named "Lovey" by the volunteers) that Travis had been hoping and praying for came up for adoption. It wasn't exactly the timing I'd been hoping for (we kind of had a lot going on at that point), but it was impossible to deny the boy the puppy of his dreams after he'd been waiting for so long. Travis named her Sadie Love and she's been a dream of a puppy from day one. I know puppies aren't often described as "chill", but Sadie totally is. And Travis has assumed 100% responsibility for her care and training and has worked tirelessly to love and teach her. For the first week she would wake several times in the night needing to go outside and he got up with her each and every time. Most mornings had them starting their day together at the crack of dawn. Each day would bring a report on how many times she woke up and at what times and I could see him becoming more and more tired as the week went on. Finally, six days after we brought her home, Travis came down stairs at 7:30am with Sadie in his arms and a huge smile on his face announcing, "She slept through the night!" No one understood his joy better than I.
Two weeks later, he and Sam went to a sleepover. Travis asked if we would put Sadie's crate in our room for the night so that we would hear her if she needed to go out. He said, "Mom, she's been sleeping through the night for a week now, but if she does wake up and you have to take her out, you'll get a small taste of what I've been doing these past two weeks." I laughed and replied that I sure hoped I didn't get a taste of that... Anyway, we're pretty sure his wife will thank us one day for allowing him to suffer through those early newborn weeks with his pup.
After a few weeks of testing each other out and a few little squabbles, the triplets are friends and they love each other. We're officially convinced of the value of pets and thoroughly enjoy the fun they have brought to our family. We're looking forward to watching them grow up with our own little ones and hope that Anne and Diana can spread their remaining lives out a bit (I think Anne might be down to about 5 at this point). And I make no predictions as to what spring 2015 will bring.
First to come aboard were Anne Shirley and Diana Berry. We knew already that the little grey sweetie was the more adventurous of the two, so she became Ann(e) and, naturally, got the red collar. The little tabby was sweet and mild and had "raven" stripes, so the name Diana and the pink, ladylike collar were an obvious match. Jimmy has never been a cat lover. You might even safely have considered him a cat hater. But it's a wonder what a daughter's delight and some affectionate kittens can do to even the hardest of hearts. The fact that they loved him from day one (and came at the sound of his voice as he called, "Ladies!") might have helped a little bit. In fact, it helped so much that when Jimmy awoke very early the morning after they arrived and found that it was raining, he opened the back door, scooped up two soggy little kittens, brought them inside and dried them with a towel! He put their blanket in the drier and their crate that Caroline had purchased for them in the garage and relocated them to a warmer, drier home than the back deck had been. You might say that he was smitten with the kittens.
Caroline loves her ladies and they have already become a fun part of our family. They show up in random and unexpected places, love to dart inside whenever the doors get left open (which is often), and are incredibly patient with all of the love and attention they receive.
Just over a week later, after months of hard work, money saving and Greenville Humane Society website stalking, the puppy (named "Lovey" by the volunteers) that Travis had been hoping and praying for came up for adoption. It wasn't exactly the timing I'd been hoping for (we kind of had a lot going on at that point), but it was impossible to deny the boy the puppy of his dreams after he'd been waiting for so long. Travis named her Sadie Love and she's been a dream of a puppy from day one. I know puppies aren't often described as "chill", but Sadie totally is. And Travis has assumed 100% responsibility for her care and training and has worked tirelessly to love and teach her. For the first week she would wake several times in the night needing to go outside and he got up with her each and every time. Most mornings had them starting their day together at the crack of dawn. Each day would bring a report on how many times she woke up and at what times and I could see him becoming more and more tired as the week went on. Finally, six days after we brought her home, Travis came down stairs at 7:30am with Sadie in his arms and a huge smile on his face announcing, "She slept through the night!" No one understood his joy better than I.
Two weeks later, he and Sam went to a sleepover. Travis asked if we would put Sadie's crate in our room for the night so that we would hear her if she needed to go out. He said, "Mom, she's been sleeping through the night for a week now, but if she does wake up and you have to take her out, you'll get a small taste of what I've been doing these past two weeks." I laughed and replied that I sure hoped I didn't get a taste of that... Anyway, we're pretty sure his wife will thank us one day for allowing him to suffer through those early newborn weeks with his pup.
After a few weeks of testing each other out and a few little squabbles, the triplets are friends and they love each other. We're officially convinced of the value of pets and thoroughly enjoy the fun they have brought to our family. We're looking forward to watching them grow up with our own little ones and hope that Anne and Diana can spread their remaining lives out a bit (I think Anne might be down to about 5 at this point). And I make no predictions as to what spring 2015 will bring.
strength
If God had asked me or Lisa, Dad or Ron or anyone else in our family before May 6 if we felt ready to face our next huge trial we all would have asked Him to wait. Speaking for myself, I felt like I was only just beginning to understand that grief, though it may change shapes and forms, kind of just lingers with you throughout the days and weeks and months. It's there in the difficult moments, it's there in the quiet moments and it's even there in the happiest of moments. In fact, strangely enough, up until May 6th it was those full-of-joy moments when I felt the loss of mom the most.
In seven months, we had faced many of the situations that would be hard to walk through without her here. Special holidays, a new year, season premiers, all of my kids birthdays... those days were hard and sad in their own ways without her here to enjoy them with us. What we had not yet faced without her was a scary, intense, life-changing tragedy within our immediate family. In His goodness and wisdom, He didn't ask us if we were ready. I know that He had been making us ready, even if we didn't know it at the time, and I know that it certainly was no surprise to Him, but that call from Jimmy at 2:45 on that Monday afternoon that started with, "I think she's ok, but..." felt like it came much too soon after a similar call that took my breath away just six months before.
It took some time to gather all of the details and figure out just what had happened that afternoon, but eventually we would come to learn that Lisa had been hit by a car while walking into her office after returning from lunch. She was standing at the entrance, hand on the door handle, when a car (driving much too fast and attempting to park in a space right at the front door) came up onto the curb and slammed her into the glass door. The impact brought the car to a stop and as it began to roll back and off of the curb, the driver, thinking she was putting on the brake, instead hit the gas and drove into Lisa again. She fell to the ground and immediately saw that her legs were severely injured.
The scary places my mind raced to when Jimmy first told me that she had been in a bad accident certainly shaped my perception of what would be good news. In those next hours hearing that she was alive, that there were no head injuries, that not only was it possible, but also likely, that she would keep both of her legs, was good news that I didn't know I would want to hear just a few hours earlier. The doctor spoke of how "lucky" she was to have been standing at the glass door that would give upon impact instead of in front of the concrete building. We thought about how grateful we were that she didn't fall after the first impact, but rather, somehow, remained upright until after the second impact. Those two blows did a number on her legs, but what would that second blow have done to her had it been her head or upper body instead? Yes, it certainly could have been so much worse. We would later find out that the license tag on the front of the car that hit her read, "Always in God's Hands". It was clear to us that God was there and that He was allowing only so much and no more, and we were grateful.
And still.
Surgeries and titanium and plates and screws and muscle grafts and skin grafts and physical therapy and lying down for weeks and months on end.... and pain. Lots and lots of pain. And tears. A lot of those, too. All of those things are her new normal. Life is completely different than it was on the morning of May 6th. In most ways it's much harder and scarier. But I know that Lisa would say that there are more than a few ways in which life is also sweeter to her than it was before her accident. The Lord is showing his love for her in big ways and she is seeing it clearly. He has stripped away her strength but he is showing her how strong he has always been. She had been training for the Disney marathon in January, 2014, and sees now that God was preparing her for a different kind of marathon altogether.
Meanwhile, Ron is finishing day seven of a twenty-one day, 2,745 mile mountain bike race along the Continental Divide of North America. He's riding well over 100 miles a day, and these are not flat miles. The complete race with all of its elevation change is said to be the equivalent of climbing Mt. Everest seven times.
It struck me tonight that I'm the middle sibling in a whole new way right now. The baby of the family is racing through the country climbing mountain after mountain for hours and days and weeks. The oldest sibling, just today, put weight on her "good" leg for the first time in more than six weeks. Physically they are pretty much polar opposites at the moment, but what they have in common is way more important. Mentally they are strong. Tough. Willing to work. Spiritually they know now that their strength doesn't come from within themselves even the tiniest little bit, and that makes all the difference.
None of us thought we were prepared to walk through this chapter of the story that God is writing through our family, but we're all being reminded daily that He has gone before us and is carrying us all the way.
In seven months, we had faced many of the situations that would be hard to walk through without her here. Special holidays, a new year, season premiers, all of my kids birthdays... those days were hard and sad in their own ways without her here to enjoy them with us. What we had not yet faced without her was a scary, intense, life-changing tragedy within our immediate family. In His goodness and wisdom, He didn't ask us if we were ready. I know that He had been making us ready, even if we didn't know it at the time, and I know that it certainly was no surprise to Him, but that call from Jimmy at 2:45 on that Monday afternoon that started with, "I think she's ok, but..." felt like it came much too soon after a similar call that took my breath away just six months before.
It took some time to gather all of the details and figure out just what had happened that afternoon, but eventually we would come to learn that Lisa had been hit by a car while walking into her office after returning from lunch. She was standing at the entrance, hand on the door handle, when a car (driving much too fast and attempting to park in a space right at the front door) came up onto the curb and slammed her into the glass door. The impact brought the car to a stop and as it began to roll back and off of the curb, the driver, thinking she was putting on the brake, instead hit the gas and drove into Lisa again. She fell to the ground and immediately saw that her legs were severely injured.
The scary places my mind raced to when Jimmy first told me that she had been in a bad accident certainly shaped my perception of what would be good news. In those next hours hearing that she was alive, that there were no head injuries, that not only was it possible, but also likely, that she would keep both of her legs, was good news that I didn't know I would want to hear just a few hours earlier. The doctor spoke of how "lucky" she was to have been standing at the glass door that would give upon impact instead of in front of the concrete building. We thought about how grateful we were that she didn't fall after the first impact, but rather, somehow, remained upright until after the second impact. Those two blows did a number on her legs, but what would that second blow have done to her had it been her head or upper body instead? Yes, it certainly could have been so much worse. We would later find out that the license tag on the front of the car that hit her read, "Always in God's Hands". It was clear to us that God was there and that He was allowing only so much and no more, and we were grateful.
And still.
Surgeries and titanium and plates and screws and muscle grafts and skin grafts and physical therapy and lying down for weeks and months on end.... and pain. Lots and lots of pain. And tears. A lot of those, too. All of those things are her new normal. Life is completely different than it was on the morning of May 6th. In most ways it's much harder and scarier. But I know that Lisa would say that there are more than a few ways in which life is also sweeter to her than it was before her accident. The Lord is showing his love for her in big ways and she is seeing it clearly. He has stripped away her strength but he is showing her how strong he has always been. She had been training for the Disney marathon in January, 2014, and sees now that God was preparing her for a different kind of marathon altogether.
Meanwhile, Ron is finishing day seven of a twenty-one day, 2,745 mile mountain bike race along the Continental Divide of North America. He's riding well over 100 miles a day, and these are not flat miles. The complete race with all of its elevation change is said to be the equivalent of climbing Mt. Everest seven times.
It struck me tonight that I'm the middle sibling in a whole new way right now. The baby of the family is racing through the country climbing mountain after mountain for hours and days and weeks. The oldest sibling, just today, put weight on her "good" leg for the first time in more than six weeks. Physically they are pretty much polar opposites at the moment, but what they have in common is way more important. Mentally they are strong. Tough. Willing to work. Spiritually they know now that their strength doesn't come from within themselves even the tiniest little bit, and that makes all the difference.
None of us thought we were prepared to walk through this chapter of the story that God is writing through our family, but we're all being reminded daily that He has gone before us and is carrying us all the way.
Eleventy-One Reasons We're Glad He's Our Dad
1. He lets us stay up late to watch good movies.
2. He likes giving us treats.
3. He got me kittens!
4. He loves our pets.
5. He spends time as a family.
6. He reads us riddles at dinner time.
7. He's fun to hang out with outside.
8. He practices sports with us.
9. He likes to play games.
10. He's interested in what we're interested in.
11. He likes the gifts we give him.
12. He works really hard.
13. He takes us to work with him sometimes.
14. He bought us lots of land to live on.
15. He takes me out on dates. (Caroline)
16. He brings us to his softball games.
17. He is kind.
18. He's really soft-hearted.
19. He is extremely patient.
20. He's an awesome spanker.
21. He brings justice to the family.
22. He might be the spanking king.
22. He's the X-Terra Game Champion.
23. He invites me to go for runs with him. (Sam)
24. He likes taking us to the pool.
25. He plays Hide-and-Seek in the house at night or when it's raining.
26. He taught us to play Ultimate Frisbee.
27. He makes yummy smoked ribs.
28. He makes sure everyone within ten miles of him has seen his favorite movies.
29. He likes to play pranks.
30. He's taught us how to prank each other.
31. He teaches me to work hard.
32. He thinks following God is more important than anything else.
33. He teaches us not to be lazy.
34. He's a huge fan of early birds.
35. He loves to cheer for Kentucky.
36. He can answer pretty much any question I have.
37. He likes to have good discussions.
38. He enjoys reading us good verses from the Bible.
39. He treats his employees and his boss with respect.
40. He likes drinking coffee with Mommy.
41. He likes taking Mommy on dates.
42. He has an amazing ear for GOOD music.
43. He teaches us to be kind to one another.
44. He takes us on fun vacations.
45. He puts fun apps on his phone.
46. He likes that I like gymnastics.
47. He likes the lemon water I make for him. (Ben)
48. He thinks it's important that we follow God.
49. He makes yummy breakfasts.
50. He wants us to be friends with our siblings.
51. He's a good sport.
52. He likes to play Sharp-Tooth Attack. (Eli)
53. He doesn't bend under peer pressure.
54. He builds up relationships.
55. He plays at the pool.
56. He looks for people he can help and doesn't expect them to help him back.
57. He is always honest.
58. He tells us to assume the best of people.
59. He likes to teach us ride bikes.
60. He loves ice cream.
61. He likes outdoor activities and wants us to like them too.
62. He values time with us more than other things.
63. He reads Two-Minute Mysteries.
64. He takes us to Trailside Creamery.
65. He smokes an awesome pipe.
66. He loves National Donut Day.
67. He likes babies a lot.
68. He likes watching movies with us.
69. He likes his parents.
70. He's a Duck Dynasty fan and he lets us watch with him.
71. He calls mom Miss Kay.
72. He's excited to blow up dams.
73. He's excited to hunt beavers with us.
74. He lets us come in his bed whenever we have bad dreams.
75. He doesn't even get too mad when someone wets it.
76. He loves my dog.
77. He loves my cats.
78. He changes diapers.
79. "He wipes me booty." (Jack)
80. He gives funny consequences.
81. He likes being on time to church.
82. He loves to take his five guys to Five Guys.
83. He teaches us to shoot guns.
84. He threw away my bow once when I broke a safety rule. (Travis)
85. He watches So You Think You Can Dance with me.
86. He's the bath giver.
87. He's a mug collector.
88. He likes Peter Jackson/Tolkein works almost as much as I do.
89. He loves hot drinks.
90. Winter is his favorite season.
91. He loves Christmas.
92. He builds things with us.
93. He built me a bookshelf before I was born and then filled it with books.
94. He lets us try projects even when he knows they won't turn out right (and they didn't).
95. He builds fires with us.
96. He likes to go camping.
97. He likes picking strawberries at Beechwood Farms.
98. He loves picking strawberries from our garden.
99. He enjoys a good airsoft battle.
100. He's excited about building our house.
101. He values family time.
102. He lets us help him prank his boss.
103. He leaves a cold coke outside for the garbage man when we have extra trash.
104. He likes giving our things away.
105. He likes big surprises.
106. He talks with us about the books he's reading.
107. He likes climbing trees with us.
108. He reads books to us at night.
109. He likes to take Sadie potty.
110. He always wants to know what we're learning in school.
111. He's the best Dad we can imagine and we're glad God gave him to us.
2. He likes giving us treats.
3. He got me kittens!
4. He loves our pets.
5. He spends time as a family.
6. He reads us riddles at dinner time.
7. He's fun to hang out with outside.
8. He practices sports with us.
9. He likes to play games.
10. He's interested in what we're interested in.
11. He likes the gifts we give him.
12. He works really hard.
13. He takes us to work with him sometimes.
14. He bought us lots of land to live on.
15. He takes me out on dates. (Caroline)
16. He brings us to his softball games.
17. He is kind.
18. He's really soft-hearted.
19. He is extremely patient.
20. He's an awesome spanker.
21. He brings justice to the family.
22. He might be the spanking king.
22. He's the X-Terra Game Champion.
23. He invites me to go for runs with him. (Sam)
24. He likes taking us to the pool.
25. He plays Hide-and-Seek in the house at night or when it's raining.
26. He taught us to play Ultimate Frisbee.
27. He makes yummy smoked ribs.
28. He makes sure everyone within ten miles of him has seen his favorite movies.
29. He likes to play pranks.
30. He's taught us how to prank each other.
31. He teaches me to work hard.
32. He thinks following God is more important than anything else.
33. He teaches us not to be lazy.
34. He's a huge fan of early birds.
35. He loves to cheer for Kentucky.
36. He can answer pretty much any question I have.
37. He likes to have good discussions.
38. He enjoys reading us good verses from the Bible.
39. He treats his employees and his boss with respect.
40. He likes drinking coffee with Mommy.
41. He likes taking Mommy on dates.
42. He has an amazing ear for GOOD music.
43. He teaches us to be kind to one another.
44. He takes us on fun vacations.
45. He puts fun apps on his phone.
46. He likes that I like gymnastics.
47. He likes the lemon water I make for him. (Ben)
48. He thinks it's important that we follow God.
49. He makes yummy breakfasts.
50. He wants us to be friends with our siblings.
51. He's a good sport.
52. He likes to play Sharp-Tooth Attack. (Eli)
53. He doesn't bend under peer pressure.
54. He builds up relationships.
55. He plays at the pool.
56. He looks for people he can help and doesn't expect them to help him back.
57. He is always honest.
58. He tells us to assume the best of people.
59. He likes to teach us ride bikes.
60. He loves ice cream.
61. He likes outdoor activities and wants us to like them too.
62. He values time with us more than other things.
63. He reads Two-Minute Mysteries.
64. He takes us to Trailside Creamery.
65. He smokes an awesome pipe.
66. He loves National Donut Day.
67. He likes babies a lot.
68. He likes watching movies with us.
69. He likes his parents.
70. He's a Duck Dynasty fan and he lets us watch with him.
71. He calls mom Miss Kay.
72. He's excited to blow up dams.
73. He's excited to hunt beavers with us.
74. He lets us come in his bed whenever we have bad dreams.
75. He doesn't even get too mad when someone wets it.
76. He loves my dog.
77. He loves my cats.
78. He changes diapers.
79. "He wipes me booty." (Jack)
80. He gives funny consequences.
81. He likes being on time to church.
82. He loves to take his five guys to Five Guys.
83. He teaches us to shoot guns.
84. He threw away my bow once when I broke a safety rule. (Travis)
85. He watches So You Think You Can Dance with me.
86. He's the bath giver.
87. He's a mug collector.
88. He likes Peter Jackson/Tolkein works almost as much as I do.
89. He loves hot drinks.
90. Winter is his favorite season.
91. He loves Christmas.
92. He builds things with us.
93. He built me a bookshelf before I was born and then filled it with books.
94. He lets us try projects even when he knows they won't turn out right (and they didn't).
95. He builds fires with us.
96. He likes to go camping.
97. He likes picking strawberries at Beechwood Farms.
98. He loves picking strawberries from our garden.
99. He enjoys a good airsoft battle.
100. He's excited about building our house.
101. He values family time.
102. He lets us help him prank his boss.
103. He leaves a cold coke outside for the garbage man when we have extra trash.
104. He likes giving our things away.
105. He likes big surprises.
106. He talks with us about the books he's reading.
107. He likes climbing trees with us.
108. He reads books to us at night.
109. He likes to take Sadie potty.
110. He always wants to know what we're learning in school.
111. He's the best Dad we can imagine and we're glad God gave him to us.